Our Nation’s Capital

This week is Constitution Week!  As I was talking to the kindergartners about the Constitution, we were discussing the Capitol and the President.  I asked if anyone knew where these were and one of my boys raised his hand (yay!) and said, “George Washington, D.C.!”

Hurricanes

We were practicing our storm drill this week, and my kids asked why we might need to go in the electric closet (our shelter spot).  For some reason, the first thing that came to my mind was a hurricane.  One of kids asked what a hurricane was, and another replied, “it’s like a tomato…only it could kill you!” 

Watch out for those killer tomatoes.

A New Year

Well, it’s a new group of kindergartners…and they have definitely worn me out!  They are a good group, though, and will hopefully give me some good material for this blog :)

So…here we go!  I was giving directions in class, and asked everyone to take out their scissors.  The only response was, “Whatever you say, Jack!”

Huh?

 

Scenario #2 – Walking down the hallway

I encounter a former student of mine who is now a sobbing 3rd grade boy in the hallway.  When I asked what was wrong, he replied through his tears, “I (sob) got a (sob) choice card.” Me: “Oh, that’s too bad…what happened?”  Student: “I was (sob) too funny!”

Oh, really?  I didn’t know that was a punishable offense these days at Lincoln Academy.

 

I hope to have some new stories for you on a regular basis this year!

Misunderstanding

Sometimes, kindergartners don't totally understand the words that "grown ups" use.  Every once in awhile they ask, "What does that mean?"  I love those times.  Teaching new vocabulary makes my heart happy.  

Most of the time, however, they just guess.  And sometimes, they guess wrong.  And sometimes, they just pretend the word they didn't know was a word they did know.

For example, one of students told me that a classmate fell asleep in music.  He didn't wake up by the end of class, so they took him to the kleenex to sleep there.  "He's sleeping in the kleenex.  But don't worry, he's not sick." 

Oh, you mean clinic.

Another student tells his P.E. teacher, "I went to the Mammoth game and I got autographs from all the retarded players!"  

Hmmm...retarded players?  Do they have a special needs team?  "Tell me more about that," says the P.E. teacher.

"Well, I went down on the field, and all the retarded players signed my paper.  You know, all the guys that used to play but now they don't play anymore?"

Oh, you mean retired players.

Maybe I like it better when they misunderstand.  It's just so funny.

Advice

The following story comes from my nephew (a kindergartner) in Michigan.

Last week was his 6th birthday, so he went to the store with his mom to pick out a book.  He loves horses, so he picked a book with horses on the front.  It also had Barbies on the front.  Yep.  A Barbie horse book.  For the 6 year old boy.

His mom says, "Hey buddy...you sure you want that book?"

"Yep.  That's the one."

"Ok, but...that book looks a little girly...don't you think?"

"Mom!  My librarian taught me - never judge a book by its cover."

Alright.  Barbie book it is.

Then again, maybe not.

Today's story is, unfortunately, one of how UN-funny kindergartners can be.

Standing outside, I hear the dreaded "knock, knock."
I take a chance and respond, "Who's there?"
"Bob"
"Bob who?"
"Bob the Easter Bunny"

That's not a joke.  It doesn't even make sense.

Approximately 2 seconds later...from a different child...
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Bob"
"Bob who?"
"Bob Spongebob"

Again, not funny.

Sorry, kids.  Try again another day.

Hustle.

I have a great job.  I teach kindergarten. One of the (many) reasons that my job is great is that my students are hilarious.  Sometimes, I forget this.  I get so used to them and their antics that I don't cherish the words that spew out of their little mouths.  When I do remember, I tell people.  And, they almost always respond with a comment similar to, "You should write that down!"  So, this is my attempt to do just that.  When they say something that makes me (literally) laugh out loud, I'll do my best to put it here for all to see.

Example #1

I went to pick my kids up from P.E. the other day.  As I am walking up, I hear about 7 (of my 19) voices saying, "Hustle!  She's coming!  Quick!  Hustle into line!  Hustle out of the bathroom!"  And so on.  

So I say, "Did you learn a new word in P.E. today?" 

"Yep.  Hustle!  It means hurry up."

"Indeed it does."

Then, one child starts quickly running in place and says, "I can hustle...I can hustle...I'm a hustler!" 
 

I chose not to explain the difference between "hustle" and "hustler" to this young man today.  Someday he'll know.